Yes, I do take requests...

Well, within reason, of course...:-)

This one's for Jamie, cuz he asked...

"The Good Ship Mimmo" as Matt (who took this pic) coined it...

Buon Ferragosto!

Today is Ferragosto or the Assumption Day (the day that the Catholics celebrate the Virgin Mary going up to heaven). In Italy, it's one of the biggest holidays of the year (probably only second to Pasqua) and it's also the occasion to eat A LOT of food! Gilda, my mother-in-law, made a reservation for the whole family to have our Ferragosto lunch today at La Polena, where we'll have the reception. I was really suprised by how beautiful it was and am so excited to be celebrating our wedding there.

Mimmo with his parents, Salvatore and Gilda


Manuela, Mimmo's niece and my flower girl


I'm laughing because Tulio had to take 3 pics to get to this one


Tulio, Mimmo's youngest brother and Teresa, Mimmo's sister


Antonio, Mimmo's brothers that lives in New Jersey, and the twins, Salvatore and Manuela (Teresa's kids)


The Whole Russo Clan (well, almost... Rossano, Mimmo's other brother is in New Jersey and Teresa's husband is overseas for work)

Another day at sea

Today, my friends Melissa, Mario, & Romeo joined us on board for Romeo's first day on a boat! Che bella!

The last pic is a glimpse of Monte di Procida from the sea.

Can't Sleep

Yesterday was a really full day. Perhaps this is why I conked out so early and now I am up at the crack of dawn. So many of these past few days have been full, but yesterday was a bit of a preview for me of what my festa perhaps will consist of.

In Monte di Procida, the tradition is that when you are getting married, you go to each house of your invitees and hand deliver your invitations as a couple. Sometimes the sposo (the groom) can't partake in this because of work or more nowadays because he just doesn't want to, in which case, la sposa and her mother or mother-in-law go together. A large part of our wedding invitees are Mimmo's family (his father who's a Russo is one of 13 and his mother who's a Coppola is one of 6). Allora, Mimmo and I decided to go together on the vespa as this would be my first time meeting a lot of his aunts and uncles. We started with my favorite aunt, Zia Pina.

Zia Pina is married to Zio Umberto, a brother of Mimmo's dad. I love Zia Pina for a variety of reasons. Zia Pina is 10 years older then Zio Umberto. Zia Pina is a verace (real) Napoletana, meaning that she's not from Monte di Procida, but from the city of Napoli which is a whole 'nother story (think Danville vs. San Francisco or Long Island vs. The Bronx). Zia Pina and Zio Umberto adopted 2 girls and one of them had a daughter who just had a daughter. This granddaughter who now is a mom is very young...perhaps 16? And, so Zia Pina and Zio Umberto are pretty much raising their great-granddaughter together with their granddaughter as she's too young to understand the resposibilities of being a mom. Zia Pina dances. Zia Pina is 83 years old! Zia Pina rocks my world and I'm so glad she christened our delivering of the invitations by being first yesterday. "Am I invited? Really?," she joked.

Delivering these invitations was literally an entry into each and every household. All of them tried to offer us something to eat and/or drink ("No, thanks Zia Maria, really we've just had 5 coffees!"). Some of them showed me photographs; told me stories of Mimmo when he was young; and, asked un sacco di domande ( A LOT OF QUESTIONS) : Why did we choose "Sant'Anna" in Bacoli to do the weding? Why are we doing the reception at La Polena and not at Emilio's? Are we going to live here or in California? Are we planning to have kids right away? Do I understand Italian and dialect? What did I do for work? Am I catholic? What's the difference between Greek Orthodox and Catholic? How did we decided to invite the aunts and uncles and not the cousins? Do I like it here? Do I want another coffee?

This story about having kids is quite a funny one as I know, depending on how the question is asked, if what they're really trying to get at is "Are you pregnant?,". And, just for the record guys, because I know some of you have been thinking the same thing (you know who you are - mostly my own family :-), no, I'm not pregnant. I had to answer this question twice yesterday - once in front of Mimmo's whole family at lunch as Antonio, Mimmo's very blunt brother from New Jersey who just arrived, decided to ask me in a very loud and uncouth manner "So, what's the rush? are you guys gonna - boom - boom - boom start a family NOW?," as he pointed to his stomach and the rest of Mimmo's family stood still, waiting to hear the answer. Then when we went to Zia Velia and Zio Biagio's, Zia Velia said "Oh, well, now, this is a new thing. You guys never mentioned it when we saw you at the end of May. Had you decided then or had you just decided recently..." to which Mimmo replied "Lisa's not pregnant, Zia Velia, if that's what you're getting at," to which she was a bit embarrassed. We all just laughed it off and Zio Biagio smoothed it over by saying "Well, it would just be all the more beautiful if she was,". Uh, let me just get through getting married first, people! :-)

By 7:30 pm (we started around 3:00pm) we were almost finished. We just had 2 more Zias to go, but it was getting late and we decided to call it a night. So, today we'll finish the other 2 and I am off to the post office to mail the others to the states. The second part of the tradition is, instead of R.S.V.P.-ing ("What's that?," the guy asked me when I ordered the invitations) all the invitees come to your house to bring gifts, talk (ask more questions), have coffee, etc. and then they say whether they're coming or not. If you look at our invitation, you'll notice in the lower corners that there's 2 addresses - Mimmo's parents address is on the left and my mom's address is on the right. So, as soon as you get your invite, you better pop over to 916 Indian Rock and pay my mamma a visit - talk, ask loads of questions, drink lots of coffee, and say whether or not you'll make it not!

And, while I'm gushing...

I just wanted to give a big shout out to my dear, beautiful, soul sister, kristini (that's what I call her, but she's Kristine, KK, Kuroiwa, etc.) who has a really thoughtful, touching, soul-searching, and REAL blogspot called kill the buddha (it's listed on my links under Kristini's blogspot). Have a look-see:

http://www.kill-buddha.blogspot.com

Kristine's blogspot was an inspiration for me to start my own to just write, write, write my way through the process to find and express my own truth...she is doing this!

Thank you, Kristini. You rock, my sista!!! Yes, Yes, Yes!!!

Thank you, emails, Thank you, phone calls, Thank you....

Perhaps Tsilli will only get this...

Yes, I have the Alanis Morisette "Thank you" song running as I wrote the title. When Tsilli and I were packed up and driving cross-country together from our respective NY and Chicago lives, we started making up a song (as one is inclined to do on a cross-country road trip) to the tune of Alanis Morisette's very annoying "Thank you, India...blah, blah, blah..." song. It was a joke that never ceased to be funny for us...for instance, anything - really anything - could become inspirational for the song - again, you gotta sing it to the Alanis Morisette tune...

"Thank you, cornfields, Thank you, hippie towns, Thank you, thank you, Flagstaff, yeaaaahhhh"

I'm feeling very thankful as I woke up early and just got an encouraging email from my dear friend, Tsilli Pines, who is in the middle of her own stress of a big Portland move, knee-deep in boxes and new neighbors. But, Tsilli reminded me to keep my eye on the prize:mimmo; that all the concessions we're making for our families in the Italian wedding will give us room to make the Berkeley wedding all the more our own; to hang in there and remember that it's quite "INSANE" (as Tsilli wrote in all caps) to be planning a wedding in a couple of months, so I should cut myself some slack. And, she also said all kinds of sweet Tsilli things like how she wished she could be there with me to offer support, how they *really* wished they could be here for the real deal in Sept., etc which brings me to my thank you, song...

"Thank you, E-mails, Thank you, phone calls, Thank you, Thank you, good thoughts, yeaaaahhhh"

Really guys, even when y'all tell me that you wish you could be here to support me as I go through this, I can feel your support from over here and I am so grateful for it and for you all. It means so much to me to hear your encouraging words and even when there's been communication problems because of logisitical reasons, the attempt is just enough sometimes...like my Theo George who is trying to change his ticket so that he can come to my wedding here...even if he can't, it really is just the thought that counts and I'm deeply touched that you're even thinking of me, so THANK YOU.

Big love, Big Italian face squeeze, Big and grateful thoughts from me to you!!!

Sailing...takes me away....

Mimmo and I have been having some r&r from wedding planning when we can on the boat...

"and when the wind is right you can sail away and find serenity". Sing it, Christopher Cross.

Carol took these pics last week...

I just cut my wedding invitations with nail clippers and other stories...

I can't stop laughing.

I go from moments of having a nervous breakdown - crying uncontrollably to moments of laughing so hard that my stomach hurts.

It really is funny being la sposa.

Yes, as the title goes, I really did just complete cutting my wedding invitations with Mimmo's nail scissors. I got the reception invitations with the couple dancing the tarantella, but they didn't fit inside our main invitation. So, I've been really busy and I knew tonight I would have the time to cut the invitations. I talked to Jill as I did this, laughing at the appropriateness of the situation. I was telling Jill, "You know how in America, you can go to Kinko's at like any hour and they have one of those paper cutters? Those don't exist here.," I asked Mimmo tonight if when he stopped by his mom's, he could get some scissors from her. (Also, in Italy, everything is closed on a Sunday, so there was no option to buy some). Mimmo returned with a pair of very old scissors that were so loose, I couldn't cut straight. So I went to the bathroom and grabbed the teeny tiny nail scissors and just went to work. "Jill, can you believe I am cutting our invitations with nail scissors right now? I mean," I laughed "they're a bit crooked I think and this is gonna take me forever.," She laughed with me and said "It's totally appropriate. You're always gonna remember doing this."

Another thing I will always remember is my last nervous sposa breakdown which was 2 days ago in the middle of Naples. I went to pick up my veil and the women wouldn't let me try on my dress to see it all together. "We're *really* busy right now," she told me as she shoo-ed me out the door. It sucks in Italy because everything closes down in August, and in Naples, Friday was the last day that a lot of the shops were open before they closed to go on vacation for the rest of the month. So, as one might imagine, the shop people weren't in the best mood, trying to get as much done before they left on vacation. But, it was also really stressful for me to be dealing with them on this day as I was trying to get all the things I needed done before September. I left the veil shop and just burst into tears. I was in the middle of Naples on a busy street and this Signora came up to me and also an African woman very concerned. "What's wrong?," they asked. "Did someone steal something from you?," asked the Signora. I couldn't speak as I was in that tears/hyperventilating stage. The African woman hugged me. I heard the Signora whisper to her "Is she your friend?," and the African woman whispered back "No, I don't know her...?!" I just couldn't stop crying. The African woman gave me a tissue and said "Don't think bad thoughts,". The Signora said "You're young and you're beautiful,". I kept crying. I couldn't stop and people were looking at me. The Signora asked "What is it?,". I tried to talk through my embarrassing array of tears "I'm getting married..." She interrupted me and whispered low for dramatic effect "Oh, and, you've seperated?!" "No..." I knew I couldn't explain and I also knew that I just needed to cry. The African woman gave me a package of tissues and they both tried to say comforting things before they left me on my way. I called Mimmo immediately after and he kept trying to tell me to try not to stress myself out, that he was with me, that everything would be ok, etc. When I told him what just happened, I had to laugh at the scenario. "Only in Naples," he said.

Ok, I gotta get off this thing and on to bed. I talked to Leila tonight which was SO great!!! Yay!

Tomorrow, it's on to more invitation printing (yes, they're all cut now :-) and looking at gluten-free wedding cakes :-)

Yeeeeeehhhhhhhhhaaaaaaa.....

Buona notte, tutti. xo

Our Invitation

The Main Invitation




Invite for the Reception (we haven't printed it yet, due to the venue change, but this is the image on the card)

Oh, I'm tired....

I now realize why people go to Vegas...

Why almost every couple I've seen has the same idea in the beginning about how to do their wedding with the three S's:

Small
Simple
Special

And, how it turns into it's own animal with every single person having their own opinion; family members taking complete control of decisions, and the couple looking back as if a movie is being played before them of "This is Your Wedding: It No Longer Belongs to You". I've reached a point where I had to let go. I've reached a point where I had to have a good cry. I've reached a point where I realize that none of this is really important...the important thing is that at the end of a stressful day or moment or more appropriately WEDDING, Mimmo and I can look at each other and laugh, cry (me!), be upset (he!), and find understanding, compassion, love and consolation in each other. I love him, He loves me...that's what's important. I've reached a point today where my last request is...I just really need to dance on my wedding! I don't care anymore!

Of course I care, but I mean that at the end of the day (thank you, Nora Fitzgerald) maybe what remains small, simple, and special is just what we have. Let me all catch you up to speed:

Our original Small.Simple.Special idea: We have an outdoor wedding at Baia, Emilio's restaurant that he built overlooking the sea. We enjoy the view of the 2 islands, eat outdoors, dance, drink, and be merry with a small group of our closest friends and family. We do it in September which is one of our favorite months.

We have a celebration in San Francisco with the rest of my friends and family and some of Mimmo's f&f who are in the states and can't make it for the Italian wedding. We celebrate on a cruiser that goes around the s.f. bay with food, music, drinks, dancing, and spectacular views. We do it in May which is our other favorite month. (so far, this remains untouched and intact until I'm sure someone will try to break my balls about this too down the road...there's still time.).

Outcome: My mom is unhappy, Mimmo's mom is unhappy that we're not getting married in the church. Perhaps by the grace of their God, we find out in Monte di Procida that outdoor civil weddings are not allowed (as in much of the rest of italy) and that only the mayor (see Sant'Anna posting below) could marry us. We decide to get married in the Catholic Church in Bacoli with Padre Carmine (a cool priest). We have our reception at Emilio's.

The reaction: Mimmo's mom is thrilled we're getting married in the church. They're not so happy that we're doing the reception at Emilio's (refer to They're Breaking My Balls posting below). My mom is also happy we're getting married in the church vs. having a civil wedding, but now she wants us to ALSO get married in the Greek Orthodox Church. I actually went to Naples before she told me this (not like I didn't already know how she'd feel!) to talk to the priest there in the Greek Orthodox Church about getting married there or in the Catholic Church. I was hoping that we could have both priests do it together. This is not possible. He tells me that in Italy it's better to get married in the Catholic Church first and then the Greek Orthodox Church after. Otherwise, we'd still have to do a civil wedding first before getting married in the Greek Orthodox Church in Italy. Are you still with me? This is getting complicated!

The next step: Ok, we've decided that we'll get married in the Catholic Church in Bacoli, eat at Emilio's after. 2 days later, we'll go to Naples and have the Greek wedding with just our immediate families and go to a Greek taverna there after. We'll stick to our California plan for May. OH MY GOD, YES, WE'VE GONE FROM OUR SMALL.SIMPLE.SPECIAL WEDDING TO GETTING MARRIED 3 TIMES!

The ball-breaking: Emilio's. Emilio's. Emilio's. Emilio's is the only thing of ours that remains and the only thing that they're still trying to pull out from under our feet. We go yesterday to get the invitations made and Mimmo's mom calls me right before and says "Lisa, don't put the name of the restaurant on the invitation,". I will not even get into this story as it's too fresh and too complicated, but I really understood that the truth of the matter is, we really can't do the reception at Emilio's. I've let it go and just surrendered. Mimmo feels bad. Really bad. We spend last night with some friends, lamenting our wedding-planning woes and find Emilio there too. Mimmo feels really bad to tell him about our situation, but Emilio has already understood and gives us a recommendation for another restaurant that we could eat well, make a bella figura, and would still fit our style. Now all of the friends who were consoling us in the process decide to weigh in their opinions about where the other restaurant should be. Me: "It's getting late,". Mimmo: "Time to go home.". I'm sure they were still up in the piazza discussing it after we left.

Ok, PEOPLE, so some of you reading this ARE THESE PARENTS and some of you reading this ARE these wedding survivors. Can no one see what a ridiculous, I mean RIDICULOUS thing this becomes? I am yearning for a bi-lingual Dr. Phil right now (oh, mammamia, did I really just say that?) to whip everybody's asses into shape....

Now, I just want to dance on my wedding day.

They're Breaking My Balls

"All I have in this world is my balls and my word, and I don't break 'em for no one, you understand?" - Scarface 18" Talking Action Figure

How many times a day do I hear these phrases in Italian?!...”rompere le palle”, “non ha bbufa’ i pall” (in napolitano), "le mie palle sono piene"…which translate to “they break my balls”, “don’t inflate my balls”, “my balls are full”…yes, Italian men are a bit obsessed with their balls and like to say this often, especially in response to their wives, mothers, etc. when the women are trying to get the men off their lazy asses to do something. I understand this very well, witnessing Greek men in Greece and in my own family who respond in the same manner. And the women, with good reason, get so frustrated by this response. My friend Melissa - who is American and lives here as well - gets very offended by this expression with her own husband. I understand her frustration, but I also respond like a good-ole American gal when Mimmo says this by saying “ uh yeah, don’t break MY balls!”…I’ve really co-opted this male expression lately because in being la sposa, there sure are a lot of people who are breaking my balls…

Teresa. My sister-in-law. God bless her and god bless the fact that I can write about all of this in English and who cares if nobody reads it ‘cuz I just gotta LET IT OUT…Yes, Teresa, my very sweet (really, truly, usually) sister-in-law is really, truly breaking my balls right now. It started with our idea to have our reception at Emilio’s restaurant, Baia.

Teresa had a very serious discussion with me last week that began with the statement “Lisa, I have something a bit difficult and perhaps a bit indiscreet to say..” , “Ok.”, “My parents are really not happy about Emilio’s”. She went on to tell me that Mimmo’s parents want to make a “bella figura” (good impression); how Mimmo’s 25 aunts and uncles who are all elderly won’t be comfortable there; that the weather might be awful in Sept. and where will we all sit?; that the food isn’t that great (NOT TRUE) and Emilio can be rude. She went on to show me video footage from a party that she went to there in May and “look how cramped we were and we were only 18!” and then proceeded to show me video footage from the twins’ first communion last year at Chiar’ di Luna and “look how beautiful it was there and look how much space there was”. She repeatedly told me that if this was just our family, it would be no big deal; that she was acting as an intermediary for her parents who couldn’t express this to me; that I was the only one who could convince Mimmo to change it, etc…

I really listened to Teresa and really took to heart what she said. Even though it was a bit of a bubble-burst – Emilio’s being both Mimmo & I’s dream place – I truly didn’t want her parents to feel bad. I truly didn’t want her elderly aunts and uncles to be uncomfortable. I truly didn’t want anyone to feel discomfort on such a joyous occasion. And, ok, her footage of Chiar’ di Luna was convincing. I even asked her if I could borrow it to show Mimmo. I left Teresa’s house convinced that ok, as much as we wanted Emilio’s, it seemed better all around for everyone to do it at Chiar’ di Luna. I found Mimmo in the piazza and told him my feelings on the situation. He was noticibly upset “She really has you convinced, huh?,” I pleaded Teresa’s case and, in the end had Mimmo pretty much convinced as well.

I went to Mimmo’s mom’s house after and was all set to tell her about our change, surprise her with the good news, and bring a smile to his 70-year-old mother’s face. “Gilda, we’ve decided to not have the reception at Emilio’s, but Chiar’ di Luna,”. I was awaiting the big sigh of relief and huge hug and instead heard the words “What?! Why?! Do you know HOW expensive Chiar’ di Luna is. And, the food isn’t even GOOD there.” Mimmo shortly after came to his mom’s, I explained to him (VERY confused) the situation. Mimmo put his foot down and said “THAT’S IT. We’re doing it at Emilio’s and I don’t wanna hear anything more about it,”. His mom leaned over to me and whispered “Better to do it at Giovanni’s (Mimmo’s cousin’s restaurant) than Chiar’ di Luna,”.

OH, mammamia, how much are they breaking my balls?!?!